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Nurturing the Bond With Your Baby

Mom and new babyThis guest article is by Marin pediatric nurse practitioner, lactation consultant, and mom Annie St. John.

We all have it. It’s that inner wisdom. Our intuition. We sometimes just don’t know how to tap into it. Especially when it comes to parenting. We often feel too overwhelmed, scared, and exhausted, so we doubt that inner wisdom. Don’t doubt it. It is the key component when it comes to bonding with your baby. Your baby.

Just as we need that wisdom and intuition, we also need resources. “Resources” is defined as:

  • One’s personal attributes that sustains one in certain circumstances.
  • The ability to find avenues to overcome difficulties.
  • Assets that can be drawn on by a person in order to function effectively.

Once your baby is born, it all comes down to feeding your baby and getting to know your baby. During your daily routine of countless cycles of feeding, burping, calming, swaying, swaddling, changing, and sleeping, you, as the parent, start to gain confidence. Your confidence arises from realizing that you do have the resources (either within yourself, from your spouse or partner, or from an outside support person). From that realization you are able to nurture your relationship with your baby and build upon that bond.

It is OK to Seek Support!

Looking at the definition of “resources” again, we need to recognize that, especially in today’s culture, we need support. We need support in so many countless ways, there are too many to list here. As Hilary Clinton so wisely said, “It takes a village!” Sure, there will be times when your own personal attributes will carry you through a difficult parenting situation. However, if you are open and willing, you will see that seeking support from others—whether it is family, friends or professionals—will enable you to be a better parent. Because we don’t know everything. And we cannot do everything. Believe me, I used to think I did know almost everything about how to be a mom. And I definitely thought I could do everything myself (yes, control issues!). I am the first to admit that when I let go of those ridiculous notions, my world changed. And the pressure I took off my shoulders was indescribable. My children noticed a new mom. More patient, more present, and more aware of what was really important.

While learning that I needed support (and still learning!) to be a better, happier mom, I found that I was becoming a better Lactation Consultant. More patient, more understanding, and more aware of what was really important. Sure, breastfeeding is extremely important. And for the families I have had the privilege of supporting whose goal is to breastfeed and their difficulties are overcome, it is an incredibly fulfilling and rewarding adventure. I have also come to learn that the experiences of helping a family figure out the challenges of feeding formula, or a mixture of breastfeeding and formula, or pumping and bottle feeding, are just as rewarding. Because what it all really boils down to is nurturing and supporting those early parenting experiences, whether it be focused on feeding, caring for your baby, or simply developing that wondrous bond which is like no other.

Annie St. John is a pediatric nurse practitioner and Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Annie lives in Marin County and has two small children, the absolute joy of her life. She feels extremely fortunate to be so passionate about her career, supporting families in nurturing their early parenting experiences. She can be reached at www.anniestjohn.net or stjohnannie@gmail.com.