Temperament: Who is this Kid Anyway?

Marin Mommies presents another guest article by Marin marriage and family therapist Kate Brennan.

We are all born with certain temperament traits. Some of us are active while others less so. Some of us are extraverts while others prefer to stay behind the scenes. This begs the question: Is it nature or nurture? Well, it turns out it is both. How does a child with an active temperament fare in a household of quiet sensitive types? Fine, if the parents realize this and make space for the active child to express him or her self. If given the opportunity, the active child will be able to channel the extra energy into sports perhaps, while the sensitive child may discover latent artistic talents. Temperament is the force that gives shape to certain aspects of personality. For example, a sensitive child may develop aptitudes that lead to a more quiet and reflective life as an adult.

Having a working knowledge of your child’s temperament can help you in being able to choose the best approach when working with them. It can help the preschool teacher to know in advance if they have a slow-to-warm-up child who may need extra time to enter a group, and It can help the doctor to anticipate how much compliance they are going to have if they know the level of tolerance the child has in their examining room.

Parents who understand their child’s temperament can avoid blaming themselves for what are normal issues for their child’s Temperament. These parents posses the confidence that helps them to anticipate issues before they occur and can use techniques that match their child’s temperament.

If you would like more information on how to obtain an analysis for your children, visit Preventive Ounce, an organization that provides free temperament resources and analysis for children ages 3 months to 5 years.

Kate Brennan, marriage and family therapist, received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from University of California Berkeley and her master’s degree in counseling from University of Southern California. She has been practicing in Marin since 1994 working with children, adults, and families. She specializes in family-centered issues such as post-partum depression, developmental and family trauma, attachment, temperament counseling, parenting, and media’s impact on family life. Her training is in family systems therapy, attachment parenting, humanistic psychology and trauma therapy. Her knowledge and training in mindful based relaxation techniques is also used to help children and families learn the tools to deal effectively with anxiety and stress. Visit her online at www.marintherapypartners.com, or contact her at (415) 453-1402 or kate@kebrennan.com.