This last weekend we finally put up the Christmas tree and all its associated trimmings. This meant that it was also the time for my annual lecture about how the Christmas tree is not a toy, and neither are the ornaments. Actually, it wasn't so much a lecture as a series of shouted admonitions aimed at not breaking quite as many ornaments as feared during the tree-decorating frenzy.

Ironically, while many of the ornaments on our tree look like toys, they're not. They actually seem to be make out a plastic-like substance that breaks if, for example, you look at it. This, coupled with the sheer irresistability of the toy-like ornamants to small children led to considerable ornament carnage in our house over the weekend. Our kitchen counter was turned into an impromptu Christmas tree ornament triage ward where Spongebob Squarepants, the Grinch, and a wooden elephant all lay ready to undergo emergency surgery. "Super Glue—stat!" I shouted to my trusty nurse, who, being at the other end of the house, suggested I get it myself.

Much of the fun of decorating the Christmas tree, however, is letting the children exercise their imaginations and have at it. The only problem here is that when you're under four feet tall you have a limited range of where you can put things on a seven-foot tree, as well as a certain "denser is better" aesthetic that most adults lack. Ornaments tend to get grouped on one side of the tree in a circle about four feet in diameter, and it's up to mom and dad to by sneaky and re-arrange the some of the ornaments when the little ones aren't looking.

We learned the importance of this last year after our Christmas tree actually fell over at one point! Fortunately this happened after hours when only I was up. It spontaneously just decided to tip over late one night—directly on top of me, naturally. I managed to catch the thing before it hit the floor and hoisted it back into an upright position. The tree itself was straight in the stand, so it seems the most likely theory is that the combined weight of 90% of our ornaments on one side only caused it to lean in that direction and eventually topple over. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.